


I'll be (your) home for Christmas

by cow_cookies



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cow_cookies/pseuds/cow_cookies
Summary: BJ is planing on a special gift for his friends.





	1. Sparkling eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! This was hard and I need a bit of motivation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BJ is planing on a special gift for his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This was hard and I need a bit of motivation.  
> Thanks to mianmaru for betaing.

It was dark outside, the snow was falling down silently. It was peaceful. The smell of fresh cookies, made earlier, lingered in the air. From somewhere the sound of small bells chiming could be heard.

 

He was lying in his bed, after all this time he was still glad to be home. To feel the soft cotton around him and smell his father's favorite tea again but there was a tiny feeling of discomfort, deep down inside him. In some nights he couldn’t suppress it, so he tried exploring it but there was never a result.

 

His sleep that night was uneasy. He tossed and turned. Fading in and out. It was one of those nights again. He was happy that the nightmares were mostly gone but he couldn’t shake off this feeling.

 

Hawkeye was annoyed so he got up, walking over to the window. He loved the snow and he loved seeing it fall, it was all so peaceful and silent.  

 

***

 

She was in the kitchen, taking her cookies out of the oven. Christmas music was playing on the radio and Margaret was quietly humming along.

 

Her home was nicely decorated, candles and little figurines of Santa and some sowmans were beautifully arranged around her living room. She felt delighted to see her home, a real home.

 

She took a plate full of the warm cookies and made herself comfy on the couch, her gaze sweeping over her belongings before settling on the frame placed on a small table next to the fireplace.

It showed herself in the arms of him. _‘Him’_.

She had put it there just yesterday, without knowing why.

_‘It is strange to see us like this. It felt quite right but odd in the same moment. I hadn’t even realised that I missed him till I found it next to the Christmas stuff. The cookies are delicious. Good Job. I will bring Cara some. He was such a great friend. He changed me. How come? Mhh…_

_He was the first who got through my defences and that’s why I was able to let BJ and the girls in, now._

_He did change me._

_I can still feel his arms around me when I look at it… mhhh… STOP HOULIHAN! Don’t get silly now. But ...oh… he is, indeed, handsome. I SAID STOP! And the night in that hut… STOP!’_

 

***

 

BJ took the opportunity of the medical conference in Boston so he could see Hawkeye for the first time after the war. Peg wasn’t pleased to let him go but eventually understood how important it was to him.

 

As he left the airport, he was surprised over the huge amount of snow. In Mill Valley they hadn’t had snow for years. He stepped over a snow bank and caught a cab to get to the hotel.

He couldn't wait to see Hawkeye’s face when he showed up on his porch but first he had to deal with three days of horribly boring conference stuff.

 

***

 

“Dad, do you expect someone?” Hawkeye asked as the doorbell rang, not looking up from the newspaper.

 

“No.” came the short reply from the opposite of the kitchen table. The bell rang again.

 

“Oh, well, don’t make an effort. I will go. You better rest, my poor exhausted son.” Daniel said mockingly to Hawkeye’s back as he walked into the hall.

 

“Thaaanks, dad.” He smiled behind his newspaper.

 

BJ was nervous and didn’t know why. It was just his best friend, so why should he be nervous.

An older version of Hawk opened the door in front of him, looking curious. At least, BJ knew  now that he was in the right place.

 

“Can I help you?” Daniel asked, trying to remember the circumstances in which he was sure he‘d seen the man before.

 

“Hello my name is-” BJ started still anxious.

 

“BJ Hunnicutt!” Daniel exclaimed remembering the photo of Hawkeye’s army buddies.

 

“Who is it, dad?” His voice came out of the kitchen.

 

BJ put his finger to his lips to silence the older man while, sneaking into the direction of the voice.

 

“Ähhh… no one.” Yelled the older back.

 

“No one?” the younger version asked suspiciously, still reading as two big hands came from behind and covered his eyes.

 

“What…?...BEEJ…!...What…?” Hawk shouted in delight as he turned around to see who did it.

 

“Hi buddy.” BJ smiled.

 

“How long are you staying? You are staying, aren’t you? You have to stay!” the excitement was nearly palpable.

 

“I have three days. Peg wouldn’t let me longer but…!”

 

After the lunch Hawkeye and BJ settled on the couch, while Daniel excused himself giving the ‘boys’ some time alone to catch up.

 

“How is it going? How is it to be home, having Peg and Erin at your side? I’m sure you are practising a lot to make sure Erin will have a brother or sister some day!”

 

“Oh, it is great. Erin has grown so much. I can’t believe she is the little baby I left and Peg is still just gorgeous. She won’t leave my side for more than a minute when I’m not working. It is just really perfect. And last monday-” BJ went on telling his story while his friend slowly got distracted by this tiny feeling of discomfort, he noticed once in awhile. He was bewildered why he should be feeling any discomfort right now. _‘It is all quite perfect’_ he thought.

 

“HAWKEYE?...Did you listen to me?” BJ’s voice pulled him back into the conversation.

 

“Uh… yeah....”

 

“So?” BJ asked with studying eyes.

 

“So what?” Hawkeye retorted confused.

 

“You are listening, huh? I just asked what about you? How are you doing?”

 

“Oh fine. Excellent! Just great.” He couldn’t stop himself of mumbling and even to him it didn’t sound sincere. But he didn’t know why. He _was_ fine. It all _was_ fine.

 

BJ was looking worried. He had always been able to sense if there was something wrong but this time he didn’t even have to. It was obvious that Hawkeye was keeping something from him and maybe even from himself.

 

“Mhh… sure. All is fine, huh?” BJ was pressing.

 

“Yes, excellent! I’m home now. No war, no wounded, no violence. That’s just great!” Hawk stated trying to sound more convincing.

 

“Do you have nightmares? You know I have them too sometimes.” The blond tried to investigate further, showing the other that he wasn’t acting successfully.

 

“No…, I mean yes but that isn't it. They are not this bad. I can’t tell... I don’t know it’s just a small feeling of discomfort, lingering under the surface and I can’t quite grasp it. So, let say it is all just fine.”

 

“Well, if you say so.” BJ wasn’t satisfied but as long as his friend didn’t know what was wrong he couldn’t help.

 

They sat for awhile talking about the last months, catching up on each other’s lives. It was really nice to be together again.

After around 3 hours, Daniel entered the living room.

 

“Sorry boys, I just get a new journal and I’m gone again.”

 

“Oh no, you don’t have to, Daniel!”

 

“No dad, you can stay, if you like.”

 

“Well, maybe I can hear some nice stories about Korea. Hawkeye isn’t speaking about it much.” Daniel settled in an armchair across of them.

 

“Oh, really?” Bj was highly surprised. _‘This didn’t sound like Hawk!’_

 

“It took me four weeks to get him to telling me who the people on the picture are I found by accidented.” Daniel added annoyed.

 

“But Hawk, why?” The blond asked.

 

“Dunno, I guess, I don’t like thinking of all the war stuff.” He shrugged his shoulders, not looking at the others.

 

“But we aren’t just war stuff! We are your friends!” By now BJ was badly offended.

 

The black-haired shifted uncomfortably on the couch and said, “I just...uh...You are right. Sorry. So don’t be angry, let's tell dad our favorite stories.” Bj was still kind of mad but didn’t know what to do about it so he gave in, still wondering why his best friend didn’t talk about their time together.

 

They shared a lot of stories, most of them were funny some quite serious but all had at least a happy end. Daniel was amazed. He knew his son was a scalawag sometimes but in Korea he must have been as bad as in 7th grade.

The older also tried to understand on the reason the eyes of his son were sparkling from time to time but as soon it was there, it was gone again.

Bj didn’t notice that glimmer. He was so used to it, he had seen it every day in camp.  

 

“That was great but I am gonna go make dinner. I’m hungry, I could eat a nurse right now.” Hawk got up, wiggling his eyebrow while walking into the kitchen. The others grinned in amusement.

 

Sitting alone with the friend of his son, Daniel couldn’t resist to question BJ.

“So, tell me about my son. Why doesn't he talk about all of you and the funny little things you have done?”

 

“Actually Daniel, I have no idea. He seems to suppress something. Earlier, I asked him how he is doing now and he said he was not as happy as he should be but didn’t know why.”

 

“I noticed that. But you know him, as long as he doesn’t want to talk there is no use trying it. What about this sparkle in his eyes. I never saw that before or at least since he came back home.” Daniel thoughtfully answered.

 

_‘Mhh, I didn’t notice, today, but his eyes got all sparkly back then, as soon as...’_

“But she wasn’t here, today.” BJ said absentmindedly.

  
“Who?”


	2. We already went down this road

Margaret was at the hospital. It was the day of the Christmas party and she was looking forward to it.  _ ‘No one would believe me’ _ she thought and she was right. Margaret Houlihan wasn’t the type, who was looking forward to something like this. But she had changed. She wasn’t the Major any more she was Margaret now and all thanks to him. 

 

Her friends, some nurses, were waiting for her as she entered the cafeteria. Soon she had an eggnog in her hand and a Christmas hat on her head. 

“Come on. We are checking on the single doctors. I’m sure Dr. Gray is interested in you.” Lucy said giggling, as Margaret tried to figure out how many of this egg noggs her nurse already had. It had to have been a few.

 

“Oh no.” Margaret stated, not quite serious. “I’m sure he is not and even if he is, I’m not here to get married.”

 

“Aww…” Lucy and the others were disappointed. “Please boss, let us have some fun now. Only some dancing and chatting. I’m sure there will be no proposal tonight.” 

 

“Well, it might be fun…” Margaret was thinking about the past. There would be no way her former staff would have talked to her like that. They would have been dead in a minute but now her nurses were also her friends. She still had to fight her inner Major sometimes and as long as they worked she demand the respect she had to receive.

 

“But anyway, you three just go and have fun. I don't need to be at your side for that.” Margaret said, still trying to avoid getting paired up with a random doctor.

 

“Because we don’t like you just sitting around her. You should have fun like everyone else AND remember the last time we left you sitting alone at a table. This big-headed image of a clap speaker belayed you the whole evening.”

 

“Clare, You can’t talk like this about our director.” Margaret was shocked but added, “And by the way, I’m well trained dealing with pompous man.” She was thinking about Charles who had provided a lot of useful opportunities to learn it.

 

“Margaret, come on!” Grace whined until the former Major gave in and the girls made their way to the table which was best to be seen by the doctors. In no time, Dr. Gray was at the table, chatting to the nurses. Soon, his colleagues followed.

 

“Miss Houlihan would you mind dancing with me?” Dr. Gray offered her his hand. The nurses giggled as Margaret accepted. She could hear a gentle “Told you!” from Lucy. 

They glided over the dance floor in smooth movements and the blonde was soon back in the days, where this new black-haired ghost of her thoughts had held her in the same way, in the Officer's Club.

_ ‘Damned picture! I have to get rid of it. And I should also try to use this as an opportunity to shake off the memory of him.’ _ she thought, trying to focus on that handsome man in front of her.

 

“It is a pleasure to dance with you. May I call you Margaret?”

 

“You may.” She smiled in return.

 

“So call me, Robert then.”

 

They danced the whole night and Margaret was able to chase the ghost away.

She enjoyed herself and the present of her dancing partner, until the moment this one special song was played. It was the song of her last night in Korea, she had danced with the her favorit surgeon all alone in the dark of the Officer’s Club. He had pulled her close and she had rested her cheek against his chest. The memories caught her off guard and, as tears welled up in her eyes, she just left her partner and the room in a hurry. 

  
  


“Margaret, what's wrong?” Grace asked in concern, as she found her head nurse down the hall, sitting on a chair.

 

“It’s nothing and none of your business!” The blonde hissed.

 

“But Margaret, there can’t be nothing if you are sitting here crying!” Grace pressed.

 

“None of your business, Ms. Thomson!” Of cause Margaret knew the Major was taking over again but couldn’t stop herself.

 

“Fine Ms. Houlihan. But as long as you are my friend it IS my business!” The younger tried to be patient. That took the blonde's defences down, she was reminded of similar discussions with the black-haired.

 

“Well, it was a lifetime ago and it really wasn’t anything but it seems like I can’t get rid of it, lately” The head nurse attempted to hold the tears back. She felt embarrassed. She wasn’t supposed to cry and especially not in front of others. 

 

“Was it back in Korea? Did you meet someone?” The younger was concerned, hoping the one didn’t die there.

 

“Yes I did. It was our chief surgeon. He was a pain in the ass.” Margaret quietly laughed. “He was always good for a prank and didn’t care about rules. But he cared for his patients and friends. First we didn’t get along very well but in the end he was always by my side. Helped me through rough times back there.” 

 

“What happened?”

 

“As I said, just nothing. We said our goodbyes and went home.” 

 

“Why Margaret? You nearly worried me to death! I thought he died!”

 

“NO! Why?”

 

“Because that’s what normally had happened, if a woman is weeping about her love in Korea!”

 

“I’m not weeping. And he isn’t my love!” The blonde protested, feeling immensely foolish because of her behavior. She had seen more men dying than she was able to count and more often than not they’d had loved ones waiting at home. 

 

“Righty… so you’re just leaving a great party and a handsome doctor, to snivel about a guy, who is nothing more than a friend, huh?”

 

“Yes, I mean no. I … It’s complicated. We tried it once and it was his decision not to carry on. Hawkeye and I are just too different.”

 

“Hawkeye?”

 

“His dad gave him this nickname. It’s from a book.” 

 

“Did you talk to him since Korea?”

 

“No, not once and.. He doesn't even know where I am.”

 

“My dear Margaret, I think you have no choice! You have to find him and just take your chance. He obviously won’t come as long as he doesn't know where you are.” Grace returned feisty.

 

“No! I won’t! Why should I? AND I told you, he was the one who ended it.” the blonde said angrily, her tears  gone by now.

 

“Maybe things have changed. You will never know if you don’t try!”

 

***

 

BJ was sitting in the living room, warming himself after the walk Hawk had insisted on. He wanted to show BJ Crabapple Cove and his side of the sea. It really was as beautiful as the native had always told him. 

The blond was thinking about the conversation with Daniel just before dinner, the night before. The sparkle the older mentioned wouldn’t let him rest.

As his friend entered the room with a plate of cookies and two pots of hot chocolate BJ asked, “Did you hear from any of the others?”

 

“Radar wrote and Sidney called once.” Hawkeye answered, focussing on the cookies while settling down in the armchair opposite his friend. “Why?”

 

“Uh.. just asking. Didn’t you hear from Potter or Klinger?” BJ was watching his friend closely.  _ ‘No sparkling eyes’ _ he noticed unsurprised.

 

“Nope. I figure they all have to readjust to their civilian lives”

 

“What about Margaret?”  _ ‘There it was! The sparkle! And gone in a split second’ _ BJ had his conformation. It was her.

 

“NO! And what is this all about? I told you, I only heard from Radar and Sidney!” Hawk yelled annoyed. Thinking  _ ‘Couldn’t BJ just take it and back off?’ _  the feeling of discomfort felt heavier than befor.

 

“Sorry Beej. I might be a bit tense. Why did you-” 

“Is this because of her?” The black-haired was cut of by his friend. 

 

“Who?” 

 

“You know who, Hawk!”

 

“You mean Margaret? Why should I be tense because of my favorite Major? I haven’t heard of her since the war ended.”

 

“Maybe that’s it…” BJ smiled.

 

“I don’t get it, Beej!” Hawkeye was really annoyed by now. He didn’t know what his friend was talking about. 

 

“Hawk you have been home for half a year now, how often did you date a girl?”

 

“Uh... I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

 

“And this out of the mouth of ‘Mr. Womanizer’ himself!” BJ laughed loudly. “But actually I do believe it. You did cut it down already in camp.”

 

“I did not! I made every nurse, crossing my way, happy!”

 

Now BJ was annoyed, “Yes except for one. Hawkeye just face it. This goodbye-kiss you and Margaret shared wasn’t just a friendly goodbye!”

 

“Oh boy, this was a kiss, wasn’t it?” The black-haired was recalling his memories. He felt his discomfort rising more. 

 

“Yes it was. What are you going to do now?” BJ questioned hopefully.

 

“Nothing. What do you mean?” 

 

“OH ‘COME ON, TELL ME YOU WILL GO FIND HER!!!!” The blond was screaming in frustration.

 

“Uh…? What? Beej, calm down! No, I won’t. There’d be no use. You remember, we went down this road already and it didn’t work.”  

 

BJ got up, swearing and grumbling while he left the room. His friend remained in the armchair, recapping what just happened. Hawkeye didn’t know what the blond had expected. He suddenly felt really tired. 

 

“Hey son, are you alright?” Daniel got through the frontdoor just the moment Hawkeye had decided to go upstairs. 

 

“Yes dad, just a little… uh… misunderstanding with Beej.”

 

“Oh really? Why?”

 

“He thinks I should do a senseless thing.” The younger was dropping his head.

 

“It is never senseless, if it’s about love.”

 

“How do you… It is NOT about love!”  _ ‘How does he know? AND IT IS NOT LOVE!’ _

  
“I hope you will clear your mind!” The older looked fondly at his son. He just wished for Hawkeye to be happy again some day and he had a feeling this woman could help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	3. Phone calls

Sherman Potter was sitting on his couch, the feet of the misses in his lap watching TV as the phone rang. He moved her off his lap and headed to the phone.   

 

“Potter residency. Who is it?”

 

“Hi, this is BJ.”

 

“Holy cow! How is it going, son? It must have been ages!”

 

“Oh, I’m fine, Sir. I hope you and the misses are fine as well?” BJ was tense inside. He called with a purpose and was eager to get his task done.

 

“Yes, we are fine. Just getting comfortable in our live together. Yesterday the whole family-”

“Sorry Colonel but I have a very important request. Can you track down Margaret for me?” BJ couldn't hold it back and jumped in.

 

“I can try, I could use my old army channels but did something happen?” Potter was highly concerned.

 

“No, don’t worry Colonel. I’m just working on a Christmas present for our chief surgeon and as I hope our head nurse as well.”

 

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll do my very best… ah and cut that ‘Colonel’ stuff down. It’s Sherman now. Will you let me in on your plan, BJ?” Potter couldn't hide the curiosity in his voice.

 

”Let's just say, I plan on a reunion with only these two.” BJ snickered.

 

“Ah, I see, it’s about time. After that kiss I wanted to kick them both in the ass. How can two people be so stubborn?” 

 

“So you are in?” BJ was delighted. He loved that old man, his father for the bigger part of two years.

 

“Of Course. Let me know if I can do anything else for you.”

 

“I will, Colonel, and please call before long!” BJ had just noticed how much he had miss the older.    
  


“I will call. BJ, take care! Bye!”

 

“Bye, Sherman and thanks!” 

 

Potter returned to the couch. He gathered the feet of the misses in his lap and started rubbing them absentmindedly. Mildred Potter was watching her husband, sensing he had something on his mind.

 

“What is it, love?” The misses asked lovingly.

 

“Oh… just my kids… BJ wants me to track down Margaret so he can set up something to get her and Hawkeye together.”

 

Mildred was checking the group picture of the 4077th, it was sitting on a table in the corner of the room. There weren’t many pictures from the war in their house. One showing his buddies and Sherman as he was young and serving in WWI and a few official ones where he was in uniform but she knew the photo of the 4077th was special to him. 

None of the other pictures had ever made it into their living room and as he came home the second thing he did, after kissing her passionately, was placing it right where it was now.

He had told her a lot of stories about ‘his kids’ and she had begun to understand that those people in a way really were his kids and he was their father, a connection that had taken her a while to understand. She was more than happy her beloved Sherman had had a family at his side in those terrifying times.

Her light jealousy had died completely as he’d settled down at home and focused fully on her and his real family. This was the first time he had spoken with one of them since the war had ended.

 

“It’s about time!” She said softly, smiling to herself.

 

“That's what I said, too, but hopefully it will work and more important I can find her.” 

 

***

 

Margaret cuddled herself into the cushions, one of her favorit books in hand. She had lit up her fireplace and was now enjoying her winter wonderland. 

 

The phone rang. _ ‘Oh heck, who is this?’ _

 

“Houlihan! Who is speaking?”

 

“BJ here.”

 

“BEEJ!” It was odd for him to hear her say his nickname. She never had done so. Even in her mind it was odd but she couldn't help herself, she just was happy to hear her former best friend.

 

“Margaret, it is so good to hear you. You were hard to track down! I had to get the Colonel involved to find you.” BJ was relief that she sounded so cheerful. 

 

“Uh... yes… I was… uh… How are you? How is your family?”  _ ‘That's why the Colonel called yesterday _ .’

 

“It’s okay Margaret, don’t worry. I understand! We are all fine. It is great to finally be home. How about you?” BJ’s voice was soft.

 

“Well, it is okay. I have a nice job and nice friends.”

 

“Friends? In this short time? Uh... I mean... That sounds good!” BJ was surprised.  _ ‘Did she say friends?’ _

 

“Uh... Yes, I might have changed a bit, I’m a bit more open, so…” Margaret was embarrassed. 

 

“What about your love life?” BJ regretted the question as soon as it was out, he was just too eager to find out if there was a chance for Margaret and Hawkeye. 

 

“Oh, well, there is someone but I think this isn’t your business, is it?” She answered mockingly.  _ ‘Oh my god, she did really change, I can’t believe it. Major Margaret Houlihan didn’t yell at me for asking a personal question! Amazing.’  _

 

BJ’s mood sank as he processed her answer.  _ ‘She is seeing someone...mh...’ _

 

“Oh ‘come on, Major, let me in on your secret. Who is he and how serious is it?”

 

“He is a doctor and actually it’s not serious at all, it just started. We danced on the christmas party at the hospital and got along quite well.”

 

“That is great!” BJ slowly got an idea on how to get them together.

 

“Well, thank you.“ She replied. BJ was relieved she didn’t get the reason for his ‘great’.

 

They went on chatting and catching up for several hours. BJ was telling her his family stories and Margaret reported about her work.

Meanwhile, there was a plan forming in BJ’s head. He was delighted that, until now, everything had worked out quite well.

 

***

 

“Hawkeye Pierce, always at your service.” Potter’s face broke into a big smile as he heard the younger answering the phone like this. 

 

“Hi, son. This is Sherman Potter.”

 

“Colonel? It is a grace to hear you. How comes?” Hawkeye was rapturous and suspicious all at once. He remembered BJ’s visit two weeks ago and was afraid his friend had set something up. 

 

“I just call all of you kids. I thought it was time now, after I got used to a civilian life. I just wanted to check in on all of you.” Potter was sincere, even though he had a special task at that phone call. 

 

“You call all of us? At the end your telephone bill must be higher than Burns’ reckonings.” Both laughed hard as the older one returned, “You all are worth it, except for Frank.” They laughed even harder.

 

“Shall I give you a brief update to all of them or have you stayed in contact?” Potter was asking, knowing the answer beforehand.

 

“No, I haven't had contact to anyone except BJ, so go ahead tell me.”

 

Potter gave Hawkeye a brief summary of all the people he had talked to. Radar was a happy young farmer in Ottumwa, he had just gotten engaged. Charles was as pompous as always and still at Boston Mercy’s, of course the head of Thoracic Surgery. Sidney settled down in New York, having a well going praxis and still working with veterans. Because the padre was still deaf, the older had exchanged letters with Father Mulcahy and he really was working with deaf children as he’d wanted. Potter couldn't get a hold on Klinger and figured he might still be in Korea, looking for Soon-Lee’s parents. Kellye was back in Hawaii and now happily married to a nice fella who treated her right. 

Hawkeye had listened silently to the Colonels information, he felt good hearing most of his friends got home safe and were now living the life they’d dreamed of. 

 

“...and eventually I got a hold on Margaret. She really was hard to find. I had to use nearly all my old army connections.” Potter tried to keep his voice as normal as before, now that his mission started.

 

“Oh.” Was the first sound Hawkeye made since he had ask the other to brief him.

 

“Yeah, she is in D.C. now.”

 

“I thought she wanted to go to Europe or so.” The younger's voice was emotionless.

 

“That was what I had in mind too, but she didn’t. She is working there in a hospital. A civilian hospital.”

 

“SHE WHAT?” Hawkeye yelled.

 

“She is working in a civilian hospital. She quit the army.” Potter repeated calmly.

 

“WHY? SHE LOVED THE ARMY!” The black-haired asked, still yelling.

 

“Would you please stop shouting at me.”

 

“Sorry Colonel, but I don’t understand. Why should she leave the army?” Hawkeye calmed down slowly.  _ ‘The only reason would be… pregnancy...’ _ The thought hit him hard.

 

“I think her fiance made her leave.” Potter knew this was a bold lie but he just followed through with BJ’s plan.

 

There was silence for a while.

 

“Well, if he is worth it… I wish her all the best. Hopefully she will be happy this time.”

 

Silence again. The older had hoped he wasn’t forced to go on but Hawkeye was as stubborn as Margaret. She also had refused Potter with ‘I don’t know what you mean, Colonel. I am happy. My life is just perfect like this.’

 

“I don’t think so, son. She didn’t sound very happy. I think he doesn’t treat her right.” The first part was true but the second a lie again and Potter felt not quite right, doing this.

 

“What do you mean?” Hawkeye growled, his voice sounded menacing.

 

Potter never heard Pierce like this. Now he was afraid that this wasn’t a good plan but at this point he had to carry on. 

 

“Well, nothing special. It just sounded like this guy was a combination of Frank Burns and Donald Penobscott and you know how well they treated her.”

 

“Did. He. Hurt. Her?” Hawkeye's voice was very calm but still threatening and the words were spoken slowly, each one stressed.

 

“She didn’t mention it. But she wouldn’t, even if he did so.” The older hesitated.  _ ‘At least this isn’t a lie.’ _ he thought.

 

“Listen, can you give me her number and address?” All of the sudden, the younger’s voice was back to normal.

 

“Uh… sure. Why?” 

 

“So I can call her and check how she is doing.” 

 

“It’s 4015 Benton Street Northwest, Washington D.C. Number is (202) 3-6397” 

 

“Thanks, Colonel. I have to go now but please keep in touch.” Hawkeye said, scribbling the address down.

 

“I promise. And son, don’t do something stupid.”

 

“I won't. Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

  
Potter slumped on the couch. He had a strong feeling this young guy was up to no good. He regretted helping BJ in this way but as he’d heard it first, it had all made sense.


	4. A friend in no need

“But Hawkeye you won’t be home for Christmas. It is a ten hour drive to D.C.!” Daniel's voice was shouting angrily from the porch as his son climbed into the car.

 

“I know dad, but I have to help a friend in need. We didn’t spent the last three ones together just pretend I’m still in Korea. I know you will be fine. I heard Mrs. Anderson would be very happy If you join her for a couple of hours.” Hawkeye wiggled his eyebrow with a mocking grin.

 

“Oh, shut up!” Daniel said in embarrassment.

 

“Listen dad, I really have to go.” The black-haired pleaded.

 

“Then tell me at least who you have to help.”

 

“It’s… it’s… Margaret.” Hawkeye stumbled.

 

“Let’s hope you can save her…” Daniel retorted and under his breath he mumbled, “...and yourself, too.”

 

“Thanks, dad!”

 

“Be careful!”

 

Hawkeye drove off. 

He was tangled in his thoughts;  _ ‘I hope this bastard didn’t hurt her. Why doesn't she pick a nice guy? I’m gonna kill him if he did! Couldn't she just take someone who treats her right? This woman drives me crazy! She deserve so much better than that! Can’t she find another BJ or at least take me? What? Did I really think that? No! At least take SOMEONE LIKE me! Yes, better. Why does she give in to such jerks? She is so passionate and funny if she wants to. She is loving and caring and just wonderful. A wonderful friend! Oh, and she is so beautiful when the sun lights up her face, even when she is covered in mud she is… Yes, she is a beautiful friend! Arrr, I mean a wonderful friend. I kill this bastard! He is going to die. As soon as I’m with her, I’ll take her home. I mean, I’ll help her start again, finding a new home and so on. Yes! I won’t allow her to make the same mistake again.’ _

The speed of his car was competing with the one of his whirling mind.

_ ‘This stupid, wonderful woman! Why do I have to save her again? Because I… I care for her, right. But I miss the first Christmas at home. No one could make me miss it. Except her. Oh ‘come on! What's this with her. She is old enough to save herself. Why am I not able to turn around and drive home? I could go check on her in January. She will be fine till then. I kill him if he has hurt her. So you are really driving to Margaret's home, ringing on her door at Christmas Eve? Christmas eve? What if she’s not home? Staying with her family or worse, with him? Does it make a difference where she is? Anyway, this doesn't make sense at all. Great Pierce, you are losing your mind right now! I already have crossed the point of no return, now I have to try at least. Yup, you have lost your mind, great! _

 

***

 

Margaret was scanning her Christmas tree. All the lights and decorations made her feel wonderful. There were a lot of presents she got from her family and friends piled up under it. After she had politely refused the Christmas invitations of her sister and some of her friends, including Robert, she was delighted to be at home. She wasn’t in the mood to see her sisters happy family or worse having a romantic dinner with Robert. She really was fine, being home alone. Her sister had brought her some of their menu as well as cake, so she was provided with nearly everything she needed.

The Christmas carols were floating through the room as she was cuddled into her blanket, enjoying her eggnogg. Through the window she could see the snow falling down.

 

The doorbell rang. 

_ ‘Oh, who the hell is this now? Let it not be Robert please!’ _

She kicked off her blanket and stormed to the door.

 

“Who is interup-” She started to grumble as she opened the the door.  _ ‘What… why is he… he is here?! _ ’

 

“Are you okay?” Hawkeye grabbed her arms, staring intensely at her face. 

 

“Of course, I am! What are you doing here?” She hissed out of old habit and tried to get away.

 

“Margaret, don’t try fooling me! Did he hurt…” Interrupted by the phone, he reluctantly let go of her. 

 

“Houlihan speaking!” Margaret said agitated by her visitor, while Hawkeye walked in and dropped on the couch. 

 

“Hi Margaret. This is Robert. You sound angry, are you alright?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine. I just got an annoying message from an old friend.” She was glaring towards Hawkeye and found him glaring back at her.

 

“Oh, alright, hopefully it doesn't ruin your holidays. By the way, are you really sure you don't want to meet me for Christmas dinner? I could be at your place in round about half an hour, or let's say at 7 pm. I bring everything we need. I don’t like you being all alone on Christmas.”

 

“Yes Robert, I’m sure. Go, visit your family. I’m fine but thank you. Your are just too good to me.” She said the words very tender, trying to provoke a reaction from the black-haired on the couch. She saw his face soften.

 

“Oh Margaret, nothing is good enough for you!”  _ ‘Arrr… Robert...That’s not what I wanted’ _ she thought.

 

“See you soon. I have to take the cookies out of the oven!”

 

“Uh…? Okay, well then, see you soon.” Robert responded a bit puzzled.  

 

Margaret flung the phone onto the cradle and walked over to the couch.  _ ‘Oh gosh the picture!’ _ She slowly dropped it face first on the table as Hawkeye stared out of the window. _ ‘Hopefully he hasn’t seen it already’ _  Standing in front of him, she gazed down at Hawkeye with a bewildered, but hard look. He snapped out of thoughts.

 

“Where are the cookies?” He questioned mockingly without a smile, holding her gaze.

 

“What are you doing here, Hawkeye?” She inquired calmly.

 

“I was in town and thought I stop by.” 

 

“Sure… you were in town, huh? On Christmas eve? Just stopping by?” 

 

“Yes.”  _ ‘What was I thinking? Of course she’s fine. I just made a fool out of myself! And I will miss my first Christmas at home with my dad. What made me think she wasn’t?’  _ His thoughts drifted back to the conversation with Potter yesterday, searching for an answer. He couldn't find one.

Margaret positioned herself on the other end of the couch, with no other possibility to sit. She tugged the blanket around her, thinking of what to say. 

The minutes went by, while both were in thoughts.

 

“I’ll go now. I better hurry back to my dad.” Hawkeye suddenly broke the silence. 

 

“You want to drive back now? It must be at least an 8 hour drive and you are not looking like you’re able to.” She asked worried, seeing the weariness on his face.

 

“How am I supposed to look after a TEN hour drive?” He snorted annoyed, not noticing his slip of tongue.

 

“A what? You drove all the way down here today? Why that?” She burst out.

 

“GEE, I don’t know.” he blurted back. “I thought your fiancé didn’t treat you right. So I thought-”

 

“My WHAT?” 

 

“Your fiancé. Wasn’t he on the phone earlier?”

 

“Robert?” Margaret was highly confused by now.  _ ‘What made him think that?’ _

 

“I think that was his name.”  _ ‘You should know how your fiancé is called, baby!’  _

 

“And you drove 10 hours to what? Rescue me or something like this?” The blonde was touched but her voice disbelieving and slightly irritated.  _ ‘He cares enough to do that for me?’ _

 

“Uhm… Kind of.” He felt silly. Very silly.

 

“So let me get this straight. You thought my ‘fiancé’ didn’t treat me right, so you decided to jump in your car and drive ten hours to my house to save me? And all of this on Christmas eve? Why? You could have called.” She was still irritated.

 

“If I had called you and you would have been in this situation, would you have told me?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

“You see. I had to come.”

 

“But I’m not even in a relationship. What made you think I’m engaged?”

 

“WHAT?” He felt anger rising in him, but also relief.  _ ‘I’m relieved? Why the heck am I relieved?’  _ “You are not engaged? Potter said it. He said you weren’t very happy and he was thinking your ‘fiancé’ didn’t treat you right.” 

 

“He must have misunderstood something. I told him about Robert and our dates but that’s it.”  _ ‘Poor Colonel he must have more symptoms of old age than I thought!’  _ She worried.

 

Hawkeye’s mind was racing, trying to get the picture. “Yeah, he must have.” He answered absentmindedly.  _ ‘Wait, did she say dates?’   _ His heart sank. 

 

“Did you say dates? I thought you weren’t in a relationship.”

 

“I have dated him twice but I’m not in a relationship.” She demanded.  _ ‘Why does he ask?’ _

 

“Ah-ha, Why not?”

 

“Maybe because it is too early to say if he is a nice guy.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“Good girl!” Hawkeye teased her with the first smile of the evening. 

 

“Oi! But to change subject: what do you think? You stay for the night and I go prepare some dinner for us now. You can’t drive home now. Look how tired you are.” She suggested, seeing him stifle a yawn.

 

“Why Margaret, I have dreamed of this for so long!” He grinned madly.  _ ‘Oh thank god we are back on track!’ _

 

“Oh, you can dream on buster. You are staying on the couch.”  _ ‘Oh no, we are back on track!’ _

 

Margaret got up and went into the kitchen, preparing their dinner. Hawkeye was looking around the living room. He hadn’t noticed her decoration and the three. He hadn’t noticed anything at all.  _ ‘It is really a winter wonderland’ _ he thought, letting his gaze wander. He was surprised by all the little details, arranged obviously with love. His scrutiny fell on the frame lying on the table next to the fireplace. He got up from the couch, taking it in his hands.  _ ‘Oh, it is us. Why is it us? Here are no other pictures, just us...’ _ He turned around as Margaret entered the room with two plates.  _ ‘Oh shit, he found it. Quick! Think about an excuse!’ _ He placed the frame back on the table, facing the room and sat down on the couch, as she put down the dinner on the coffee table. 

_ ‘Why does it matter to me if he finds it? We are friends and there is no problem in having a picture of a friend. Okay, here are no other ones but well I haven’t got this many friends so… Why do I care?’ _

 

“I thought we could eat here. I love the atmosphere during days like this.”

 

“That’s fine with me. It looks great. Like the Christmas dinner I would have had at home.”

 

“My sister brought me some of hers.”

 

They ate in silence. Both felt a bit awkward, their gazes travelling unbidden to the picture, again and again.

Once in awhile, one of them smiled fondly, while looking at the frame. The other pretended not to see it. The dark-haired sometimes enjoyed the food audibly but no one let slip a word.

 

Margaret gathered the empty plates as Hawkeye got up. “Let me do that!” He took them out of her hands and walked towards the kitchen, without waiting for an answer.

The blonde leaned back on the sofa, hearing him work in the other room. A cosy feeling welled up in her. 

_ ‘It is nice having someone here, or maybe it is nice to have him here? Oh, Houlihan what are you doing? Okay you have missed him, that’s okay, he is your friend. You have missed BJ as well. But STOP picturing him as your husband. Better think about Robert and what he might do at the moment.’  _

By the time Hawkeye entered the living room Margaret was completely annoyed by the fact, that Roberts face kept dissolving into Hawkeyes in her head. 

 

“Look, I found something sweet for my Major!” He grinned, handing her a piece of cake.

 

“I’m not YOUR Major!” She hissed, taking the dessert, still annoyed by her thoughts.

 

“Oh ‘come on Margaret. It’s Christmas Eve, let’s not fight. There are better things we could do!” One of his eyebrows went up and his mouth curled into a dirty smile.  _ ‘She is beautiful, when she is angry!’ _

 

“Stop that, Pierce!” _ ‘Or I might start to like the idea!’ _

 

“So what happened since Korea?” He asked sitting down on the sofa, focusing on his cake. 

 

“Nothing special. I found a job, settled down, made some friends. That’s basicly it.”  _ ‘And I really don’t miss you… till now.’ _

 

“Why did you leave the army? I thought it was your life.” 

 

“I needed a change. It doesn't feel right anymore.” 

 

“Why?”  _ ‘Because you had to change me. You had to show me that there could be more in life. Thanks by the way… arr...Stop being angry at him, it is not his fault. It was your decision.’ _

 

“I don't know. I thought there could be more in life. What about you?”

 

“Oh, pretty much the same. I got home and after a good month of sleep I started to ‘get Crabapple Cove say ahhh’ at my father's praxis.”  _ ‘But to be honest it is quite boring’ _

 

“That sounds great.”

 

“Yes, it is.”  _ ‘BORING and something is missing’ _

 

“And what about your… uh… spare time?”

 

“My spare time? Um… I go fishing, I read a lot… um…”  _ ‘Is she asking for my love life?’ _

 

“Something else?” 

 

“Why Margaret, did you ask me about my love life? Don’t worry, I will always keep a spot free for you. One word and I’ll leave them all, just for you.” _ ‘That sounded more sincere as intended… I think.’ _

 

“Oh, shut up!”

 

“What do you think? shall we turn on the telly?”  _ ‘So maybe we don’t have to discuss my non-existent love life!’ _

 

“Why not! I think today there is this movie on, called ‘Scrooge’ or something. I originally planned on seeing that, till you stormed in!”

 

“So, do it then.” He pretended not to hear her last sentence, it still made him feel embarrassed.

 

Soon the movie took all the attention. Margaret had cuddled herself into her blanket and cushions again, she had moved slightly in his direction for a better angle to the TV. He leaned against the corner of the couch, his left arm resting on the back of the sofa, his feet propped up on the table.

She was the first to stifle a yawn but he followed soon. 

He dozed off but came back once in awhile, still trying to follow the movie. As her head touched his chest, his eyes snapped open in surprise. 

“Margaret?” He asked softly.

There was no response, with a gentle touch he stroked the hair from her forehead, to find her eyes closed. She was sleeping. A highly pleasant feeling appeared and made him pull her near, resting his left arm on her side. Unconsciously, she snuggled closer to him, releasing a moan of satisfaction. He smiled, looking down on her.

_ ‘My, Margaret, could you be the thing I miss in my live?’ _

 

In his state of drowsiness, Hawkeye let his mind explore the possibilities and perks of having Margaret in his life until he drifted off. 

 

Margaret opened her eyes, seeing the TV test pattern. It took her a few minutes to realise that she had fallen asleep on the couch. She felt comfy in his arms.

_ ‘In which arms? OH MY GOD! I fell asleep in Pierce arms. I can’t remember how I ended up there. Did he re-arrange me? Better I go to bed or I get used to it in the end! You are not crossing the line Margaret. He is going home tomorrow, so you are better not caring too much about him!’ _  She slowly got up, making sure he didn't wake. He was stirring and mumbling something like ’Margaret, love’ but didn’t open his eyes. On her way to bed she turned of the TV and let herself have one last look on him, after she covered him with the blanket. 

_ ‘I hope it is not too late for ‘not caring too much’. I don’t need to be hurt again’ _


	5. Coming home for Christmas

It was early Christmas Day as the phone rang.

“Pierce home, Senior is speaking.”

 

“Hi Daniel this is BJ. I just wanted to wish you two Merry Christmas from all of us.”

 

“BJ, that is nice of you, but it is just me, Hawk isn’t home!”

 

“He is not? What happened?” BJ was surprised.

 

“He just said Margaret is in trouble and drove off.” Daniel was still a bit hurt.

 

“Sorry Daniel!” The blond voice was heavy with guilt.

 

“It is not your fault, boy!” 

 

“To be honest, it might be. I made Potter indicate Margaret could be in need. I should have known Hawk would go help her immediately. Sorry Daniel, I didn’t intent to crush your first Christmas. I just wanted him to realise that he loves her. ”

 

“Oh boy, BJ, I’m not sure if should be mad about it or thank you for looking after him. I know you just wanted the best but-” 

_ ‘Hopefully it worked out. So it would be worth it, at the least.’  _ The older thought.

 

“I’m really sorry Daniel!” 

 

***  

 

Hawkeye was slowly awoken by the sun on his face. His back was sore and he immediately felt disappointed at waking up alone on the sofa. 

Soundlessly, he peeked into the rooms, trying to find the bathroom. His gaze fell on a sleeping Margaret and made his heart jump. 

_ ‘Maybe Beej is right. But should we go down that road again? Would it work? Should we try? This woman is really driving me crazy!’ _

He started making breakfast after finding the bathroom. He roamed through all the cupboards, trying to find the things he needed. His head still jumped from thought to thought, resting not once. He felt an uncontrollable need to make Margaret happy, even if it would just be breakfast in bed. But he was also worried about the statement that could be seen in it. 

_ ‘Am I ready for her? The last thing I want is to repeat my mistake again. Maybe I am. No I’m definitely not. Arr… That's just breakfast, she won’t think that’s a proposal. You are just up the pole now! And maybe she doesn't want me.’ _

At this thought he froze in his movements. _ ‘What if she doesn't want me?’ _  The splash of hot fat on his hand brought him back.  _ ‘Stupid bacon!’ _ Cursing under his breath, he finished his preparations and made his way to her room. The tray in his hands was slightly shaking as he hovered in front of her door in hesitation. Two deep breaths and he gathered all his courage and entered her room.

She was still asleep so he silently put down the tray on her night stand. Sitting down on her bed, he gently caressed her cheek. 

 

“Margaret, wake up. I made breakfast for you!” His voice was tender but his heart was beating like hell.  _ ‘Hopefully, she’s not going to kill me!’ _

 

She stirred and moaned lightly. “What time is it?” Came her sleepy voice, a few seconds later.

 

“It’s around 10.30 am.”

 

Suddenly, Margaret sat up in her bed. “What are you doing in here?” She yelled.

 

“I just made you breakfast. Don’t bite my head off!” He held up his hands in defeat. 

 

“You did what?” She calmed down with a soft smile on her face. 

 

“I made you breakfast.” He pointed to the tray beside her, returning her smile. 

 

“Why did you do that?”  _ ‘That's kind of sweet.’ _

 

“I wanted to please you.”  _ ‘And I deeply care about you.’   _

 

“That’s kind of you but to be honest I don’t trust you!”

 

“Why, Margaret, that hurts!” He returned in faked pain. Both started to laugh.

 

“We shouldn’t let it go to waste, so… I can’t believe I’m saying this... would you mind jumping in?” She lifted up her covers, patting the space next to her.  _ ‘Stop being so nervous, Houlihan’ _

 

“You don’t know how long I dreamed of that.” He growled mockingly and with a huge dirty smile, he seated himself next to her. It was warm and cosy and the smell of her lingered between the sheets.  _ ‘Maybe we really should try it.’ _ He thought while eyeing her closely as he was tugging pillows behind their backs.

 

“Do you wait for it to cool down or?” She teased, nodding towards the tray, ignoring his last comment on purpose.

 

“Uh…? Right… breakfast…!” He grabbed the tray, placing it in the middle. 

 

While enjoying the food, they by-passed several topics and discussed their plans for the day. Hawkeye was going to drive back to Maine and Margaret was looking forward to relax alone at home. 

 

“Well thank you! I really enjoyed it!” She stated as they finished, leaning briefly against him. He put his arm around her, pulling her near. “I would do anything for my favorite Major!” He smiled down at her, not letting the blonde go. _ ‘Don’t care too much! _ ’ She thought, feeling the touch of his skin on her arm.  _ ‘You are going to lose this fight, Margaret.’  _ With this she pecked him on his jaw and got out of the bed. 

 

“Where are you going?” He asked, crestfallen.  _ ‘Don’t leave!’ _

 

“To the bathroom.” She left the room with a tender smile. 

 

As she came out of the bathroom, Hawkeye had already cleaned the dishes and was now watching TV. Staring at the back of his head, Margaret hesitated. She had no idea what to do. She hadn't exactly been happy without him but she was used to it. Used to being alone. Used to guarding her feelings with an iron will and a prickly appearance. But right now, with him so close, all her control and self-inflicted loneliness felt wasted. Had she really been deceiving herself the whole time in order to not get hurt? Had it been worth it? She had a feeling that the answer was right there. She was angry about herself, allowing to feel like this.  _ ‘No I have to end it. He has to go now!’  _ She marched in front of the TV, between it and her visitor.

 

“You-”

 

“Oh Margaret, I would like to watch that!” He whined in pretended annoyance and pulled her on the sofa. She bumped on top of him and couldn’t suppress a snicker. He seated the blonde on his chest and held her in place, his arms around her. She half-heartedly tried to free herself but couldn’t resist his warm embrace as he informed her, ”It should be ending soon, so just relax now.”  _ ‘Please Margaret, let me enjoy us now. I have to leave soon.’ _  He breathed out in distress as he put down his chin on her head. Feeling him around her made her inner struggle worse.  _ ‘Please Hawk, don’t do that to me. You are driving home again.’ _ But she couldn’t bring herself to leave his arms.

None of them could pay attention to the show they were watching.

 

_ ‘Shall I try it? She made me feel somehow complete… But if she doesn’t want me… at least she let me hold her. Maybe then she’ll let me… love her. Do I love her? I care about her, deeply. But do I love her? _ ’ 

 

Absentmindedly, he started to caress her side with his thumb.

 

_ ‘Why is he here? He is turning my world upside down and then he leaves again! He made me feel things I’m not supposed to feel for him. Why couldn’t he just call? I hate him as much as… as… as I care about him. Don’t cross the line. He will go and you will go back to normal! That’s it.’  _

 

“When did you want to leave?” Her voice was tender, her eyes avoiding his.  _ ‘Please say soon!’ _

 

“I don’t know. I think after the series is over.”  _ ‘Or never, Margaret?’ _

 

“Oh, okay. That’s fine.”  _ ‘Why does it hurt? I need him to go!’ _

 

“If you need me I could stay a bit longer.”  _ ‘Did she sound sad?’ _

 

“NO, I mean you have to go home. Your dad is all alone and…”  _ ‘Don’t make it worse, Hawk!’ _

 

“Oh… Okay. You are right. Poor old man. But… you could… um… could come with me. Have a nice vacation.”  _ ‘Uh, her ‘no’ did hurt. Did I really ask her that?’ _

 

“Uhm… I… I don’t know. I don’t think this is a good idea.”  _ ‘Spending more days with you and falling more and more for you.’ _

 

“Why?” He lifted her head to look into her eyes, his voice rough with distress. Margaret's eyes were full of sorrow, silently pleading for him not to press on. 

 

“Margaret?” Now he was pleading, as she got up hurrying towards the door. She stopped in the doorway not turning to him, “I can’t! I can’t do this.” Her head dropped down.  _ ‘Hawkeye, I…’ _

 

He was at her back in an instant, jumping over the couch and grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving.  _ ‘Margaret, don’t go. I…’ _

Her look made him let her go. She vanished into her room, while the black-haired was staring down the corridor.  _ ‘I don’t want to leave her. I won’t leave her. She has no choice.’  _ A plan was forming in his head. He roamed around the house, making sure everything was prepared for his decision. He checked every single detail more than once, to make sure it would work as best as possible.

 

He knocked on the blonde's door, “Margaret, I go now.” Silence. “Please, let me say goodbye, at least.” The door opened slowly, showing her. He drowned in her eyes. All the pain, sorrow and longing in it, let him move on, even though he wasn’t completely sure if he did the right thing. 

  
  


He swept her off her feet and carried her through the open front door into his car. 

  
  
  


“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PIERCE! LET ME DOWN! LET. ME. DOWN!!!” She yelled more than angry. 

 

“You are staying here. I’ll be right back. I’ll do that all over again if you force me to.” He smirked, leaning in and kissing her forehead before closing the car door.

_ ‘What the hell is this idiot doing? He is nuts!’ I’m not staying in here!’ _

“Don’t get out of the car. Be patient I’m nearly done.” He called from the front door.

_ ‘What is he doing? Why am I staying? ‘Come on, move!’ _

Three minutes later Hawkeye was back at the car, throwing a bag in the trunk.

_ ‘She is still in there. I can’t believe it! The Major got soft.’ _

He got into the car, handing the blonde her keys and jacket. A big grin spread across his face as he started the engine and turned the car on the street.

 

“Where are we going?” She hissed, not believing he was actually taking her to Maine.

 

“Home!” He replied shortly.

 

“WHAT? You are kidnapping me! Go back immediately!”  _ ‘I can’t go to Maine! That is not an option!’  _

 

“No. That is all for you own good!”  _ ‘Or for mine… but at least for someone's good!’ _

  
She leaned back resting her head on the seat.  _ ‘What am I going to do now? I know him, if he is determined, he will not let go.’ _ She remembered the incident at the peace talks where he had stormed in on some high ranked Officers, to tell them they should speed up the discussion.


	6. A home in you

Daniel was relaxing in the sitting room, thinking about the phone call he had received from BJ that morning, as car lights illuminated the wall in front of him. He hadn't heard of Hawkeye since he’d driven off but was sure he would be fine. His son had survived the war, so he had to be fine in the states.

Still, the older felt relief as he saw the car pulling up into his driveway.

 

Margaret was stunned as she saw the old victorian house. It was as wonderful as he had told her. They hadn’t spoken much, while driving. She was still mad at him and he felt guilty. Hawkeye had noticed it would be better to stop talking, around two hours after they started. She definitely wasn’t in the mood for small talk. She only talked, if she was in need for something, having a break for toilet or wanting some foot.

 

“We are home, honey!” He informed her mockingly.

 

“Oh, shut up, Pierce!”

 

“I see you are still mad. But you will enjoy your little vacation!”  _ ‘Hopefully so much you don’t want to leave.’ _

 

“Oh you think you are so smart, don’t you?”  _ ‘Little vacation… and what if I don’t want to leave anymore? Then you will run for your life, AGAIN! If you just would know what you do to me...’ _

 

Hawkeye got out of the car, walking over to open her door. She was halfway out of the car as he reached her side. He smiled down at her. He loved her independence and strength.

 

Daniel was standing on the porch, watching the two interact. 

_ ‘Mhh, a real couple does look different but he brought her here. She really seems mad! But was that a fond look towards my son's back? This was definitely a loving look towards her. His eyes are all sparkly. Maybe BJ was right and she is the reason.… Oh boy, this will be fun!’ _

 

“Hey kids, what took you so long?” 

 

“Dad, may I introduce my lovely Major Margaret Houlihan?” Hawkeye grinned as they walked up the few stairs to the porch. 

 

“I’m not a Major anymore. Stop that!” She hissed, blushing. “It’s nice to meet you Dr. Pierce.” 

 

“It’s my pleasure, Ms. Houlihan. Call me Daniel, please! Better we go in, it’s freezing!” The older escorted Margaret in. Followed by Hawkeye who was carrying her bag.

 

“I hope it is not too late for a proper Christmas dinner? It’s all ready. I just have to reheat it.” Daniel said with joy.

 

“Actually, I could really need something!” Hawk returned. “Meanwhile I show Margaret the house and our bed.” He wiggled his eyebrow. 

 

“In your dreams, buster. I will sleep on the couch!” 

 

“You don’t have to, honey. We have a guest room. My foolish son will show you. And Hawk... Behave!” Daniel jumped in, amused about those two.

 

Hawkeye did what he’d said, then left Margaret in her room to settle down. He went down into the kitchen, leaning at the counter and watching his father prepare dinner.

 

“She wasn’t in need.” He started slowly.

 

“Really.” Daniel wasn’t surprised after BJ’s confession.

 

“No, but maybe now I am…” 

 

“Why?” The older turned to his son in confusion.

 

“I might care for her. Maybe enough to kidnap her because she didn’t want to come here.”

 

“You did what? Is this the reason she is mad at you?” Daniel laughed aloud.

 

“Maybe…” The younger smiled.

 

“But why are you in need?”

 

“Dad, I don’t know if she wants me. I don’t even know if I want her!” He whined in frustration.

 

“There is no doubt about the second, you just kidnapped her!” The older was still giggling about this fact.

 

“I don’t know about nothing!” A sad expression ran over Hawkeyes face.

 

“Look son, she is here and she is not calling the police. That is a hint at least.”

 

“But-” the dark-haired stopped as Margaret entered the kitchen. 

 

“Daniel, can I help you as long as your son is helping the counter staying in place.” She glared at Hawkeye.

 

“No, honey! I’m fine but thanks. Make yourself comfy on the couch. I call you two as soon as dinner is ready.” He grinned about Margaret's statement.  _ ‘She is gorgeous! If anyone can handle Hawk then it’s her.’ _

 

They settled on the couch. She had made sure she was as far away as she could. 

 

“Listen Margaret, don’t be mad at me. I thought you would like it here. I didn’t want you home alone!”

 

“But why? I’m perfectly fine alone.”

 

“Because I-”

 

“Dinner is ready!” Came Daniels call from the kitchen.

 

Margaret was slowly relaxing, the old man was good company and lit up her mood a lot. The atmosphere was light and funny and Daniel was asking about the 4077th and some of her personal stuff. She allowed herself to enjoy the situation and calmed down.

She couldn’t even resist to glance over at Hawkeye sometimes, thinking how nice it would be having both around constantly.

The black-haired watched his beautiful visitor out of the corner of his eyes, grateful to see her easing off slowly. After all, he wanted to make her happy. 

Daniel did noticed the gazes of the two as well. In his age, he could clearly identify suppressed love, if he saw it. And here was the most obvious case he had ever seen. 

 

“That was delicious, Daniel.” Margaret smiled. 

 

“Thank you, honey. What do you think, you go rest and I clean up?” 

 

“No you already set up the dinner let  **us** do the cleaning.” Margaret protested.

 

“If you insist!” The older got up and leaned down to his son’s ear, whispering, “If your mother didn't raise a fool, you go for her!” With this, Daniel left the kitchen.

The other two collected the plates and started to clean up the place, Hawkeye was doing the washing-up while Margaret cleaned the table. His gaze fell on her backside as she leaned forward.  _ ‘Mhh… look at that!’ _

He let the plate in his hand sink on the counter and relished his view. She turned around, noticing his expression  she asked annoyed “What?” 

 

“Nothing, I just forgot to give you your Christmas present!” He grinned elfish, taking and dipping her in a long deep kiss. 

 

“Santa can do his work a whole lot better without being disturbed by ferret face!” He smirked mockingly, remembering their first kiss in Korea, three years ago.

 

Margaret, still in his arms, stared at him in disbelief. She wasn’t able to say something or even move. He’d caught her completely off guard.

Hawkeye’s face was full of love and lust. He couldn’t resist kissing her again and this time she kissed him back. The kiss deepened. Passion took over as he bent her back onto the table, not leaving her lips. Kissing down her neck, he could hardly resist the lust, while her hands caressed his back.  _ ‘Margaret, oh god, Margaret…’  _

He pulled her up from the table, directing them to the stairs, still holding her tight, kissing every part of skin he could reach.  _ ‘Hawkeye...don’t you dare stopping!’ _

They barely made it up to his room.

 

He tugged her closer, as close as he could, feeling her naked body pressed against his as the passion eclipsed. She looked up at him, uncertain what would happen next.  _ ‘Please, don’t run!’ _

  
  
  


“What do you think of Maine?” He asked gently.

 

“It seems to be nice! I haven’t seen much! Why?” She inquired.

 

“You could… um… I thought about… Maybe you could stay here… for a while… um… or longer…” For once, words didn’t come easy.

 

“Uh? We will see.” She cuddled closer, pressing her lips onto his chest, feeling his arms around her.

  
Both finally felt at home.

 

The end!


	7. Epilogue

BJ hadn’t heard from Hawkeye in months, he assumed Daniel had told his friend the trick he’d pulled on him. The black-haired had every right to be angry but BJ missed him badly. So he hoped this invitation for the 4077th first reunion would help to get in touch with him.

 

The blond was close to a heart attack as he entered the banquet room of a noble Hotel in New York. He was glad Peg and Erin were by his side. 

Radar was storming towards him, talking too fast to understand as BJ was focused on the crowd in front of him, looking for the tall black-haired. 

 

“Sorry Radar, I have to find Hawk!” He left the shorter man behind and made his way into the throng. He greeted the people he came by but didn’t stop for long. Peg was with Mildred and some other woman, so fortunately she didn’t need his attention. 

 

Finally, he spotted his friend at a table, talking to some nurses. His heart sank and guilt flooded his stomach when he didn’t see Margaret around.  _ ‘Could it have been for nothing? I was so sure, they would get together!’  _

 

“Hi Hawk.” 

The quick glance of the other man let BJ know that it all went wrong.

 

“Hawk, listen, I thought it would all work out. I thought as soon as you see her you will realise that she should be part of your life.” BJ apologized in a rush.

 

“You made me miss my first Christmas with my dad!” Hawkeye growled furiously.

 

“But I didn’t know you would do this. I should have known but…” BJ was as white as snow, looking down at his feet.

 

“You should have…!” With this the black-haired left the table.

 

BJ felt beaten as he slumped in a chair. He’d just wanted to make his friends happy. 

Others came along talking to him, but he wasn’t in a mood for small talk. His mind was searching for something to make it up to them. Time went by and BJ hadn’t moved nor spoken much. 

  
  


Margaret entered the room half an hour later, scanning the scene. She looked stunning in her black dress. Former comrades came up, talking and joking with her. She felt piercing blue eyes on her without seeing them. She didn’t dare find them.

Everyone was settling down at the tables, cheering and chatting, as Potter asked for silence. 

 

“Well, folks, it is now one year since the war ended. We all made it back home in one piece and this we should celebrate. We have found a new family in this hellhole and so we are here now as one big family. Today should be used to get rid off all the little misunderstandings and to catch up with everyone you haven’t seen for awhile. Here is to us!”

Potter raised his glass and so did everyone else, “To us!” came as chorus. 

 

Hawkeye knew Potter had meant him but wasn’t ready to end it. He longed for the touch of Margaret. He wanted to grab and kiss her but he couldn't. 

 

They ate and drank, soon several couples were on the dance floor and the atmosphere was full of fun and love. 

 

“Hawkeye, I know what happened and I reassure you, BJ did it for your best! You shoul-” Potter was interrupted by the younger as Margaret walked by, “Sorry Colonel, I have to go!” 

 

The black-haired followed the former Major, taking her hand. She turned around looking emotionlessly back at him. 

 

“Do you mind dancing with me?” He asked softly.

 

They walked to the dance floor as their song was played, it was like the night in the Officer's Club. 

 

“Isn’t it time?” she was looking in his eyes with concern.

 

“I think it is!” his voice was gruff.

 

He broke the embrace and held her an arms length away, looking closely in her eyes. 

The hall went silent when he got down on one knee, taking her hand in his.

 

“Margaret Houlihan, would you marry me?” He was holding out a small box in front of her.

_ ‘WHAT? That wasn’t the plan!’ _ She thought.

 

“Uh… I… um… Yes!” With her surprised answer, he got up to his feet, placing the ring on her finger and kissing her like the last day in Korea.

 

After the shock lessened, there were cheering and clapping as BJ made his way to his friends. “Holy cow.” Potter shouted in surprise.

 

“What the heck…?” The blond couldn’t bring out one more word as he arrived in front of the couple.

 

Hawkeye broke the kiss and grinned at him with a devilish smile, “I owed you that!” 

 

“Was this all set up?” BJ shook his head in disbelief. Potter’s eyebrows raised to his hair.

 

“Not the proposal!” Margaret hit his fiancé lightly on his chest. 

 

“I thought you should get a surprise, too!” Hawkeye pecked her on the lips.

  
Having turned the reunion into an engagement party, the attendees had all the more reason to dance and celebrate until dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, folks!   
> It was really hard work. I couldn't get it to an end. So it turned out to be a bit OOC and I'm not really pleased with it.   
> What do you think? Please leave me a comment.


End file.
